HOW ON EARTH CAN ANIMALS DEAL WITH THIS.

Friday was meant to be a special day, a day of happiness, merriment, and good times with my sister and mom.

I should've known it'd be a disaster at the start.

See, we were going to the zoo. See some animals up close, enjoy the day, and spend some time with my mom and sister.

I ended up getting up for the day at 7:30 AM. I normally get up at around noon. In other word, I'm already equivalent to the waking dead.

Just kinda lacking on the hunger for flesh. I do have one funky zombie gait, though.

Anyways, we eventually left. Along the way we stopped at McDonald's for breakfast.

It's sad when I can say this was the best part of the trip. Why?



THAT is why. A supreme union of pancake, syrup, and sausage. The McGriddle. It is probably the most effective product produced by an fast-food company.

Considering I get up close to noon, I almost never get them. I thank all that is holy whenever I get one.

After ingesting a blessed breakfast, we continued on. During the ride, I tried to catch up on some sleep.

Key word is tried. No actual headrest meant I didn't have a place to put my head. Well, there was the seatbelt I was using, but that didn't work.

We eventually got there, despite my inability to take a nap. We started going in, and spent about 10-15 minutes being in line. But it was fine, no worries.

We decided to check out the aviary first, and it was nice. I snapped a bunch of pictures, avoided getting pooped on, and everyone still had high spirits.

My baby sister needed a diaper change, but what can you do? We went on to another animal exhibit, an Asian one, I think.

Saw a lot more animals, tried taking more pictures...

By now, the heat was really bearing down. See, Florida is known for a few things.

Disney World.

Old people out of freaking nowhere. And Red Lobster.

Most importantly, the fact the entire state is an oven.

Seriously, here are our seasons for Florida:

Summer
Hell on Earth
Summer
Fall/Whatever Mother Nature Decides To Randomly Do THIS Time

We went to the zoo at the worst season of the year. In other words, it was hot.

I'm surprised none of the zoo animals die of heat stroke, to be honest.

Eventually, I split up with my family and found refuge in a restaurant that had A/C. Spent about $3 on a drink so I could cool off inside.

...and not look like I was just lounging around because it was hot. Which I was.

I finally got cooled off enough, and went to find everyone. It's on the way there I noticed something:

Zoo's sure can suck.

The things are built for 3 types of people:

* Kids
* Parents of Kids
* Really Old People

The kids can see all the animals they've probably never seen before. They can maybe ride all sorts of rides. The parents can be certain the kids enjoy themselves, and join them, too.

The old people can see all the animals they've forgotten, which they will likely forget by the time they leave.

Anyone else will probably be bored to death.

All those animals? You've seen them before. Maybe not up close, but you've seen them before. For a kid, it's exciting to see them. Everyone else?

Oh, a tiger. Woo.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they actually did something.

Wait. They walk! Gee, that's fun!

Well, no, because they only walk for 5 seconds before lying down and pretending to be dead again.

Honestly, if the place wasn't a zoo, I woulda thought they were all stuffed. Most of them just sleep.

Normally in a way-out corner, too.

What about the rides? Well, they're built for children.

That means most people over 14 will never want to ride such a thing willingly. The things are literal kiddie rides.

So, tired + hot + bored = me begging to go home.

Mom says we will... after she's done with a few rides for the baby.

I could wait, so it's no problem.

Except, you know, the whole waiting three hours bit.

Yeah, mom was pretty gung-ho about giving the baby a fun day.

I can't really blame her. Just because I was basically very, very cranky didn't mean she should put everything on hold. It was their day, not mine.

Anyways, we finally did get home, but I was in a pretty foul mood. I still couldn't fall asleep, but being home eventually had me mellow out.

I still feel bad for nearly ruining the day for her, though. I think I might have at least spent the day better if it wasn't so hot, though.

Next time someone asks me to go to the zoo, though, I'm getting a damn weather report.

E in Triplicate.

Another E3 has come and gone.

Well, mostly, but it's pretty much over, anyways.

E3 stands for the Electronic Entertainment Expo. It's considered by many to be the biggest gaming event of the year. A few years back there was no doubt to this, as E3 could pass for a small town, complete with prosti-uh, booth babes.

Now it's smaller in scale, but the big game companies still make huge announcements there, so it's importance hasn't really fallen at all.

Anywho, now it's time for the things I found noteworthy at E3:

There's this new Metroid game coming out for the Wii, which the series is essentially about this chick who wears a battle tank fighting freaky aliens and life-sucking orbs with fangs.

Ehh, just take a look.

Anyways, it's interesting in that it's being developed by Team Ninja, a group responsible for Ninja Gaiden.


It started out as a platforming game, like pretty much anything on the NES.

I'd spell out the NES for you, but it's a freaking Nintendo console. Ask your kid or nerd brother or something.

Anyways, Ninja Gaiden went from that to:


I'd put something else up, but this was the only picture that didn't have fountains of blood.

More importantly, Ninja Gaiden is known for being HARD.

Like, open the door and die hard.

Huh, that sounds like a movie Bruce Willis would be in when he's 80. I can see it now... "Are you an old enough dude to save the nursing home?"

...oh, E3.

Anyways, this means that there's a very good chance this Metroid game will be extremely difficult. Metroid isn't exactly easy in the first place, but man, I'd still want to play this.

There's also a new Mario game, a sequel to Super Mario Galaxy... that I still haven't played.

If you care about Nintendo at all, Mario games are almost like required reading for a literature class. With this new Mario coming up, I really need to get the first Galaxy.

A multiplayer Mario game is coming for the Wii(Everyone knows what the Wii is, I would hope), as well. I'm kinda mixed about this, since I don't actually have anyone to play against at home, and no online play means it'd be pretty much just me playing it. It could still be fun, though, so who knows.

Then we have Golden Sun DS. Golden Sun was a nice duo of RPGs for the Game Boy Advance that had an interesting battle system and and some puzzles that were different that what I've seen. Seeing this series come back is gonna be great.

Sony showed up with The Last Guardian, which is made by the same group that made Shadow of The Colossus, one of the coolest games I've ever played(Hint: It's nothing but boss fights, but made of awesome). The new game looks like the Attack of Godzilla Furby, with you playing the little kid that is it's friend. Something tells me it's still gonna be great, though.

Patrick Stewart is lending his talent to a Castlevania game. Considering it's about people fighting the undead and dark minions of Hell and/or Dracula, my money is on Captain Picard being Dracula himself.

Hey, a guy can dream.

The best is for last, I suppose: Final Fantasy XIV. This sucker's gonna be the next MMO for Square Enix, and it's all but in story a sequel to Final Fantasy XI, the game I still pledge my life to.

I'm excited and scared at the same time. While this is, without a doubt, freaking awesome, there's a good chance that while FFXI will at least be running until there aren't enough people to support the servers, it won't see anymore significant content beyond partial updates. I mean, I could be wrong, but since the Playstation 2(The original and still-used platform for FFXI) isn't exactly a spring chicken anymore, and if Square Enix is going ahead with this, who knows what'll happen to the game I'm still playing. They do promise a year's worht of content, but when it looks like that's three updates, you can see where I'm concerned.

Gloom and Doom aside, E3 gave a lot of things to look forward to. I could've put more stuff in, but I'd be here all day.

Another day, perhaps.